My home birth story

Little miss A is already 2 weeks old and finally I have time to sit down and write about how she came into the world.

The last few weeks of pregnancy she was sat so low I could barely walk but after a false alarm in week 38 it seemed clear she was still staying put. Finally at 4am on a Saturday morning I woke up with strong contractions. An hour later they were still going strong so I started to time them......already 3 mins apart and 1 min long.....time to wake hubby.

I took some paracetamol and began fumbling around to find my phone and the TENS machine. This time around we had planned for a home birth which meant being assigned two lovely midwives who would come round to help deliver baby. I knew my primary midwife was off for a couple of days and coming back on shift that morning as she had told me after my previous false alarm that I either needed to push the kid out before Wednesday or wait til Saturday. Unable to remember when she started work, hubby called her mobile to see what her answerphone message said - off until 8:30am Saturday. Well there was no way I was gonna last on my own til then so time to call midwife number two........and she wasn't answering! Time for plan C - calling the duty midwife. Hubby called maternity reception and they said they'd get the duty midwife to call back ASAP. By the time she called back it was already approaching 6am. While she was on the phone to hubby, midwife number one called on the other phone as she spotted my missed call and wondered what was going on. When I told her about my contractions and she heard there was no midwife with me yet she said she'd be straight round despite not being due to start work for a few hours yet.

While we waited for the midwife to arrive I strapped on the TENS machine and we began to get the lounge ready for what was about to unfold - coffee table moved aside, shower curtain down to protect the carpet, old duvet down for me to get comfortable on, old towels at the ready and home birth kit ready in the corner.

As time ticked by it became clear baby was well on her way but wouldn't arrive before little J got out of bed so it was time to come up with a childcare plan. Unsurprisingly, not many people like to answer their phone at 6am so hubby kept phoning through a list of friends.

At 6:45am midwife number one arrived armed with the gas and air (hooray!!). We were all sat on the sofa watching scrubs and joking around as she took my vitals and I breathed through contractions. It was such a change from my previous labour where I was lying on a bed in hospital with nothing to distract me from the pain and no conversation.

By 7am we had found a friend to look after little J but now baby was too close for hubby to leave the house and run little J up there so more phonecalls to find someone to drive little J up there. Very soon after Matt showed up to save the day and we bundled little J off to play at a friends house with no explanation to him as to why. Thankfully he seemed totally fine with the whole idea and went without a fuss.

Soon I reached the point where I was feeling pressure in my butt and getting close to the pushing phase - time to turn off Scrubs so I could concentrate. By now the duty midwife had shown up to assist. At this point my waters were still intact and I was just sat on the edge of the sofa puffing away on the gas and air. The midwives were regularly checking both mine and baby's vital signs and at one point baby's heart rate suddenly dropped down to 80. Things went from calm and lighthearted to slightly more serious and the midwives sprang into action to break my waters (while I was lying on the sofa) and hurry baby along. Very soon after her heart rate went back to normal and I moved on to the floor and got ready to begin pushing.

During my last labour I barely pushed at all as I was given an episiotomy and little J arrived 2 pushes later. This time I was going to have to do it properly. Thankfully, this time around I had much better direction than last time when the only instruction I got was "less shouting, more pushing". This time hubby sat behind me to prop me up and give support and it made such a difference. It took me a while to get the hang of pushing. I'd always assumed that when they say "push like your doing a really big poo" they meant push like you're pooing out of your baby hole but they really do mean "push EXACTLY like you're doing a really big poo". After almost 30 mins of pushing I was exhausted and just wanted it to be over. It felt like just as I had got the hang of pushing I was told "don't push......pant" as the head crowned and the midwives tried to get me to deliver it slowly. Apparently little miss A emerged with her head wiggling from side to side as if trying to burrow her way out!

The sense of relief when she was finally out and I didn't have to push anymore was immense! I was so dazed that when they held her up for us to see if she was a boy or girl I really couldn't take it in. It was great to finally meet our little girl and hold her.

Of course that's never quite the end of the story - there was still the placenta to deliver, paper work to be filled out and a whole heap of mess to clean up, not to mention a few stitches required. I opted to deliver the placenta naturally but didn't expect it to take another 45 mins. I eventually delivered it in a very undignified manner squatting over a plastic tub.

This time around I got to see all the blood and gore (and there was a fair bit of it!) but the midwives did a great job of cleaning it all up. The duvet I laid on didn't have a mark on it and you would never know my waters had broken on the sofa.

As one midwife checked over little miss A, I lay on the sofa to have my stitches done and hubby made tea and toast for us all. It was so nice to be in the comfort of my own home enjoying breakfast and cuddling the newest member of our family. After some final checks, the midwives left, taking all the mess with them and it was as if nothing had ever happened - except now we had a beautiful baby girl.

Josiah's diary - day 1

Me and Daddy

I entered the outside world about 1am - I figured I might as well get mummy and daddy ready for sleepless nights from day one! The first thing I noticed was it was very bright and very cold. Thankfully I was quickly put on mummy's chest and covered up.  It was nice all snuggled up with her and good to see what she looks like from the outside.

I didn't get to stay there long though - some people came and took mummy away to 'fix' her.  That left me alone with daddy for a bit of male bonding time.  It was good to finally meet  the guy who's been reading me bedtime stories for the last few months and match a face to the voice.  As I lay there snuggled against his chest I decided to see if daddy's boobies work the same as mummy''s. Unfortunately they didn't but the look on daddy's face when I tried was funny.  I may try doing that again in the future just to tease him.

After a while we were allowed to go and see mummy and I finally got chance to have some food!  We hung out as a family for a bit and then got moved up to the ward where we would be staying for the next few days.  Daddy wasn't allowed to stay though - he had to go home and sleep but promised he'd be back to hang out with us soon.  As daddy said goodbye and mummy started to fall asleep I started thinking to myself that noone had told me the mealtime arrangements. When would I next get fed? Should I ask someone? I decided to ask mum for some more food before she fell asleep.  Finally, around 6am, comfortably full from second breakfast, I fell asleep.  It had been a tiring day and I wanted time to recover and prepare myself to meet my adoring fans the next day.

Welcome to the human race!

We are pleased to announce the safe arrival of Josiah Gallagher born at 00:53am on Friday 7th September.  He's currently asleep on daddy's chest so thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you how it went.

Well, it's been an eventful couple of weeks and things certainly didn't go as we had planned but we know God had it all planned out for us.  Day one of maternity leave I started to feel a bit funny and got sent to hospital to have my high blood pressure checked out.  After a full MOT on me and the baby I was told we were fine and sent home. Later I got a call to say when they got my blood tests back my liver function test was a little high and they wanted me to come back for another blood test to make sure it was just a random blip and not increasing.  Unfortunately it wasn't just a blip, it was increasing, and so began two weeks of almost daily trips to hospital for repeat blood tests (the majority of which were a waste of time as the lab kept screwing up the results). Instead of spending my maternity leave relaxing I spent it sat in stuffy hospital waiting rooms and being used as a pin cushion. I found it very frustrating but felt sure there was a reason God was allowing me to go through it and just prayed he would give me patience.

On Thursday I went to see the consultant to get a verdict on all the tests and to review our plans for home birth.  She said they couldn't work out why my liver function was still increasing as tests had ruled out all the obvious things. As a result we were recommended to not have a home birth and to consider being induced at 40 weeks.  It was not the news we'd hoped for but God gave me reassurance that there was a reason behind it.

The though of having to decide about being induced was quite daunting and I was really hoping and praying labour would start on its own before a decision had to be made.  I sent an email to a few friends asking them to pray (thanks guys!!) and within an hour I began having stomach cramps which I assumed were just Braxton Hicks.  After a couple of hours of having these cramps consistently about 4 mins apart I decided to Google "how to tell the difference between Braxton Hicks and real contractions".....

Braxton Hicks contractions: 

• are infrequent, usually happening no more than once or twice an hour, a few times a day
• often stop if you change activity
• are usually irregular, and if they are regular they only stay that way for a short spell
• do not last long, usually less than a minute
• continue to be unpredictable and non-rhythmic
• do not increase in intensity

Compared to Braxton Hicks contractions, labour contractions are usually: 

• noticeably longer
• more regular
• more frequent
• more painful
• keep on going, increasing in frequency, duration, and intensity as time goes on

Oops, so they were the real deal all along.  Once I knew the contractions were real I figured it was no longer too soon/too wussy to use the TENS machine so I strapped it on to take the edge off.  I started doing a few chores, hung out and watched TV and generally tried to ignore what was happening.  When my mum called that evening for her usual weekly catch up the conversation was interupted every 3 mins by me breathing through a contraction.  Mum soon told me to get off the phone and call the midwife.  When I spoke to the labour ward they said it was my call as to whether I wanted to come in then or wait at home.  I'd spent enough time in Derriford already that week so decided to stay home as long as possible. By the time I did cave in and decide to head to the hospital for better pain relief I was 8cm dilated!

The next few hours after that are all a bit hazy.  I remember lying on my side sucking away on the gas and air while different people walked in and out of the room to examine me, do blood tests and coach me through it.  I was so focused on breathing through the pain that it wasn't until my husband told me afterwards that I discovered I'd had three different midwives come and go during my labour. After a couple of hours of contractions the midwife decided it was time to check again how far along I was.  She was shocked to see that not only was I fully dilated but the amniotic sack was bulging out of me as the baby's head pressed down on it.  She broke my waters for me and announced it was time to put down the gas and air and get ready to push!

As I knelt down and leaned over the back of the bed I tried my best to follow the midwifes instructions to take a deep breath and push long and hard.  It sounded pretty straight forward but I wasn't doing that great a job - I wasted far too much energy screaming instead of pushing haha!  Despite that it only took 23 minutes of pushing to deliver the baby.  As I got near to the final push the midwife offered to give me a quick cut to help.  Before labour I was scared at the thought of an episotomy but at that point I figured I had nothing to lose.  The cut was so small and quick it just felt like when you cut yourself shaving. One final push and it was all over! Unfortunately I pushed a little too hard and tore my episiotomy quite badly so after a quick snuggle with our son I had to be taken in to theatre to have a thorough repair job done.  Now it all made sense why God guided us towards a hospital birth - a major tear like that at home could have had a much worse ending!

Now after a short hospital stay we're all home and enjoying hanging out and getting to know each other.  We look forward to introducing you all to Josiah soon. 

Pregnancy week 38

Day one of maternity leave and I end up spending the afternoon in hospital - not the greatest start. Don't worry though - we're both fine.

As I sat there in the maternity unit in a room with two other women, the sound of their babies heart monitors mingling with mine and the sound of other peoples contractions filling the air, I thought to myself "home birth is definately the right choice for me!"  Though the doctors and midwives were friendly and helpful I found myself seeing one person one minute and then they'd swap shifts and it'd be someone else. I was left on my own for long periods of time as the poor overstretched midwife ran from one cubicle to another and the doctors all got paged to attend a C-section. When I think about it now I feel a little spoilt/greedy knowing I'll have two midwives all to myself at home.

The other thing with hospitals is they are so boring! Just as I expected, boredom and my husband did not mix too well and resulted in him driving me nuts by fiddling with all the equipment. If he does that when I'm in labour I know it will drive me insane so being at home away from all machines with flashing lights is probably the best thing for both of us. He was playing with the bed, checking the heart rate print out, fiddling with the monitor strapped around my belly... I knew it would only be a matter of time before he would get told off by the midwife for something and I was correct.  It did however make me feel a little better when the junior doctor attending me managed to make the end of the bed fall off!

Pregnancy week 37

I've come to the conclusion that crowds and pregnancy don't mix.  On Saturday we went to Flavourfest and instead of enjoying it like last year I actually found it quite stressful. As my husband ate his way from stall to stall (eating all kinds of pate and cheeses I wasn't allowed) I waddled behind him trying to avoid being elbowed in the belly.  People in crowds are so totally oblivious!  Noone seemed to be looking where they were going - they were all too busy looking at food or walking along texting.  It didn't take long for me to grow tired of waddling around, especially as I was too fat to squeeze through the crowds and get close to the stalls and even if I could have got close I wasn't allowed to eat most of the free samples anyway.  We decided to go and watch the cookery demos but the heat and pressure on my hips meant I soon had to sit down. Unfortunately there were no free seats. As I waddled from bench to bench looking for space and getting hotter and more flustered did anyone offer me a seat? Heck no! So I gave up and just sat on the floor which of course led to me getting stuck on the floor.  I really can't wait to be able to move around normally again - I feel like such an invalid!

Thankfully I've now reached week 37 and the end is in sight!! It's my last week at work before maternity leave, hospital bag packed just in case (though hopefully won't be needed) and plenty of homemade lasagne stock piled in the freezer.

Last week we went over our home birth plans with the midwife and she gave us our home birth kit. Hubby got excited to see what cool things would be included and was a little grossed out by some of the contents (especially the biohazard tub for disposal of the placenta!). It's crazy to think that he could be born any day now if he wanted - though I've told him he needs to wait at least until next week or else the plastic sheeting I've ordered from Ebay won't have been delivered and we'll have nothing to protect the carpet from the bloodbath of child birth.

Today I had my presentation scan which confirmed baby is definately head down. I could have told them that already though just by the recent increase in how often I have to get up to pee in the night (6 times last night!) as well as the fact that now everytime I sneeze the poor kid head butts me in the pelvis - not comfortable for either of us!  My back and hips are becoming quite uncomfortable and little mr fidget bum in there is making me feel like I'm being beaten up from the inside!  I couldn't help laughing the other day when my husband was giving me a hug and the baby kicked him square in the groin haha.

Pregnancy week 35

I haven't written in a while as I expected everyone was getting about as bored of reading about my pregnancy as I am of being pregnant. Apparently I was wrong so thought it was time I wrote another update.

So what funny stories shall I share with you this time?

Apparently I'm bigger than I think I am. I was heading into my local supermarket the other day and this guy was stood outside a good 5/6ft from the door but when he saw me coming still felt like he needed to move out of my way!  I've lost count of the number of times I've hit my bump on tables and counter tops in the last week and I now have to brush my teeth standing side on to the sink or I hit my bump every time I go to spit. Good job the poor kid is well padded in there or he'd be coming out with bruises!

The baby is taking up more and more space and when he moves around he really does stick out a lot. My belly often looks like something out of an alien movie! Curled up in bed with my husband the other morning he grabbed what he thought was my hip. He seemed a little confused when I asked him why he was holding onto the baby's leg! That made me giggle.

Being this fat, tired and uncomfortable doesn't really do a whole lot for your sex drive.  My husband decided to try a new method of wooing me the other day - he tried playing me a recording of the mating sound of a  whale!! Cheeky so and so!

It's been great seeing the changes in my husband as he fully embraces this pregnancy.  He's one of those guys who loves using his spare time to read up on topics that interest him and read product reviews.  He loves sport and photography and always takes note of what cameras people have.  Now as we wander around town he also notices what push chair or baby carrier people have.  Another thing he has taken to doing in town is playing a new game I like to call 'fatty or preggo?' Basically how it goes is we'll be walking down the street and Josh will poke me and try to subtly point out some poor oversized woman in the crowd and guess if her pot belly is baby related or just plain flabby.

Josh pretends to be chilled out and uninterested but has secretly been reading up on all kinds of things and seems to know more (theory wise) about pregnancy, breast feeding and labour than I do.  It's great to know I have good support and he's doing all he can to prepare. It's interesting how certain pregnancy symptoms help to prepare you for life after the birth. For example my husband having to help me get dressed in the morning is good practise for when he has to dress a kid. And getting up to pee five times a night is preparing me for the sleep deprivation to come.  The local sea gulls have decided to help prepare us too by screeching outside our window at 5am every morning - how thoughtful of them (not!).

I'm finally getting to the point where it feels like the end is almost in sight and it's time for the last few preparations. The freezer is slowly filling up with home cooked meals (I have a feeling we're gonna quickly get tired of eating leftover lasagne) and we've booked our home birth and met our midwife. I wonder what the shops below us are going to think when I go into labour?! Hope I'm not too noisy or annoying. Though I have to admit there is a small part of me that is kinda looking forward to getting my own back on our new neighbours who seem to think 11:30pm is a good time to do DIY!

This week we had our first anti natal class. I was surprised by how many other dad's were there and pleased too - nice to have some mutual support for hubby.  Most of the stuff covered this week wasn't really new to us but I did learn a few things. Like apparently expecting a 4 week old baby to be fine sitting in a car seat for a couple of hours drive to Newquay was perhaps a little optimistic (something about their spine not liking it too much).  I wonder what other details like that I'm gonna have not thought about?! I have so much to learn.  The main thing I got out of the anti natal class was realising how great my husband is, what a good support he is and what an amazing dad he is to our little boy even now.

Preparing for birth

Week 28 - I'm now in my final trimester and growing impatient to meet our little boy. The weeks continue to slowly tick by and my belly slowly grows bigger and more and more like an alien movie as the baby moves around more.  The novelty of pregnancy is starting to wear off, the rib pain is growing worse and the tiredness from the first trimester is slowly creeping back.

I'm running out of things to do to prepare for baby and help the time to pass so I've begun researching about birth and writing my birth plan.  One of the first things I read was that giving birth takes about as much effort as running a marathon. Oh dear - I'm sooo not in shape for a marathon!!  So then I started reading up on what kind of training regime I need to get me ready.  I found this really useful article on Pregnancy exercises like pelvic floor exercises.  So, I have my fitness regime planned:

Step 1: Do pelvic floor exercises daily
(Step 0.5: Work out where pelvic floor muscles are!)
Step 2: Sit cross legged a lot

Doesn't sound too strenuous to me.  12 weeks is long enough to train for a marathon right? Or perhaps I should have thought about this sooner?!

Next up I found this article on labour tools which had some great simple ideas that made my husband and I laugh (tennis balls? rolling pin?).

Finally, I got to the main topic of concern during childbirth - PAIN! As I read it became clear that for a lot of women their main aim in labour is to feel as little pain as possible. And there was me thinking the main aim is to give birth to a healthy child! Now the big question is do I want an epidural.  Though I'm really not a fan of excruciating pain, I'm not sure I like the idea of being numb from the waist down either.  How am I supposed to feel what's going on or know when to push if I can't feel anything? How will I know if I'm tearing or doing other damage to myself without the help of pain to alert me? 

It got me thinking about how we view pain, not just in child birth but in life generally. Most people view pain as a bad thing to be avoided at all costs.  But is pain really always a bad thing? Doesn't pain let us know when something is wrong? Doesn't it let us know we're alive? Surely feeling pain is preferable to feeling nothing at all?!