The day started out fine. Little miss A went down for her morning nap without much of a fight leaving me and little J to eat breakfast.
After breakfast I got little J dressed and then put on one of his favourite TV shows to keep him occupied while I got myself ready to go out. I jumped in the shower and began washing my hair (for the first time in a week). Just then in walked little J with the TV remote complaining I put on the wrong episode of Sarah and Duck. So I jumped out of the shower, threw a towel round myself and went to put on the correct episode. With that problem solved I jumped back in the shower and began putting on conditioner (probably the first time since little miss A was born 8 weeks ago). Cue little miss A wailing over the baby monitor. She had woken up half an hour earlier than usual and now I rushed to get dressed at the speed of light and go settle her again. It wasn't long until we were planning to leave for play group anyway so I just put her in the baby carrier and started getting little J ready to leave.
So we showed up at toddler group almost on time for once but with my hair still dripping wet. The baby carrier had worked its usual magic and got little miss A back to sleep so I took the chance to grab a cuppa tea and some cake before waking her for her feed. Meanwhile little J was busy doing arts and crafts and playing with cars and making me pretend cups of tea.
Little miss A was in a fussy mood this morning and just didn't seem to want to feed properly. Trying to breastfeed while playing cars with little J isn't easy at the best of times but this morning was particularly challenging. Little miss A fussed and cried her way through story time too and by the time we got to the singing time at the end I was still fighting to get her to feed. Little J decided to join in with the fuss by first getting upset that I couldn't pick him up to do some of the actions and then having a near melt down cos we didn't sing grand old duke of York.
When toddler group was over my aim was to get home as quickly as possible to get little miss A down for a nap. I strapped a wildly protesting little J into the pushchair and put a now crying little miss A in the baby carrier and headed home. She was asleep by the time we got home so I gently put her in her own bed and went to play with little J for a while before lunch.
Lunchtime came and just as I began making something for little J and I, you guessed it, the baby monitor began to wail. Little miss A had decided to wake after 45 minutes instead of sleeping for her usual 2 hours. My attempts to resettle her failed so I ended up feeding her some more while poor little J tried to make his own lunch (yes, I let a 2 year old use the toaster).
Little miss A began to drift off so I put her in her own bed again and crossed my fingers. Next on my to do list was putting little J down for his nap. He of course decided that was the time he wanted to try to use the potty. (He wants to start potty training, I'm still resisting the idea but trying to be encouraging.) Just as little J got comfy on the potty (reading his usual car magazine), little miss A began to wail again. Five minutes later she was still yelling so I decided to risk leaving a toddler alone in the bathroom to check on her. As soon as I walked out of the room he got up and started running around semi naked - sigh!
After checking on little miss A, I got naked boy dressed and put him in bed for his nap before returning to little miss A and deciding to abandon her nap. As I sat feeding little miss A some more and listening to little J over the monitor I soon heard some whimpering. I put little miss A down and went to investigate. When I entered little J's room I was greeted by a soaking wet little boy declaring 'new trousers, new trousers'. He had decided to empty his drink into his bed and both he and the bed were soaked. I sighed and took him to our bedroom to sleep, not really expecting he actually would. To my surprise he was asleep within five minutes - hooray!
Then it dawned on me - little miss A was going to need a nap in half hour and her bed was in that room too. Error! What now? Wake little J early? Sneak little miss A in there and risk her super helpful brother trying to pick her up if she cries?
In the end I decided to just let her sleep on me so we had a peaceful hour curled up together on the sofa. I lay there wondering if I would ever get to eat lunch or go pee but enjoyed the cuddles with my precious little one.
By nature I am quite a task oriented person and get a weird kick out of ticking items off my to do list. Being a parent is teaching me to let go of my desire to get things done and focus on precious opportunities to connect with my special little people.
I'm also a bit of a perfectionist which leads me to put unhelpful expectations on myself (and my family too). I find myself hoping today will be the day that I will finally manage to get little miss A on the perfect routine. Then I end up disappointed that she doesn't want to follow Gina Ford and wondering what I could have done better.
In the rare moments I get to be alone, I've been reading a great book called "Soul Food for Mums". The other day I was reading a section about perfectionism and letting go and this bit from the Bible stood out to me:"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
So that is my challenge as a mama - to trust in God and not my own ideas (or Gina Ford!), to relax and listen for the whispers of God's Spirit showing me the way forward in each challenging moment (of which there are sure to be many more).
No comments:
Post a Comment