It dawned on me then how little clue most men (and a lot of women) have about what us women are put through during pregnancy so, guys, here's a few insights....
It starts with what is ironically called 'morning sickness' but should be called morning, noon and night sickness as it starts in the morning and gets worse through the day. Favourite foods taste funny or just plain make you sick and sometimes just the smell of something is all it takes to have you rushing for the bathroom. Imagine a three month long stomach bug that doesn't respond to medication and that is morning sickness.
The surge of hormones at various points during pregnancy gives you headaches but all you can take for it is paracetamol. Your immune system is suppressed so you end up with every illness going round and your body decides to over produce mucus so it feels like you have a permanent cold but you can't take any cold and flu pills - only paracetamol. As well as all this you feel so tired all the time all you want to do is sleep.
Once the first trimester is over things get better for a while and you start to feel human again. Nesting instinct kicks in and you feel a strong urge to move furniture, clear the house out and tidy every little thing.
But then the third trimester comes along and with it all the trappings of being the size of a house. Your hips hurt and you regularly get trapped nerves thanks to a small child sitting on them. Every time you stand up you feel the need to pee thanks to the little person sat on your bladder. You haven't seen your feet in weeks but now you can't reach them either so forget things like painting your toe nails or putting your own socks on.
Now when you sneeze you get head butted in the pubic bone by a little person. Trying to sleep at night is challenging as it's near impossible to get comfortable and once you do finally get to sleep you have to get up 4 or 5 times a night to pee. Trying to roll over or get up is like a full on military operation and you have to be careful not to get up too fast or you get all dizzy and light headed.
Sex also becomes incredibly challenging and not just because of the logistics relating to your ever growing size. From the guys point of view nothing much has changed and it still feels the same. But once you can feel the baby moving inside of you, sex feels like a very bizarre threesome as the baby responds to your partners touch and movements. Even when hubby gives me a back rub I find junior kicking in response.
Oh, and in the last couple of months you find that orgasms often set off painful contractions meaning that instead of having a happy ending sex results in you curled up in agony for 10 mins clutching your spasming belly. So guys, if your preggo mrs doesn't seem too keen on sex don't take it personally!
On top of all this you have many other fun symptoms like gas, indigestion, constipation, puffy ankles, bad skin, crazy things going on with your hair...
The saying goes "pregnancy is not an illness" and it's true but sometimes I wish it was so maybe I'd get a little sympathy! Instead you're just expected to get on with it and not complain and some people even have the cheek to make comments about how wonderful this beautiful natural state must be.
Having said all that, there is still much to be thankful for among all these challenges. Though it sucks to feel so ill for so long, at least I know it will come to an end and I even know roughly when. Plus there's a happy ending when the baby arrives.
How much worse must it be to have a long term illness and live every day not knowing if or when the symptoms will end or get worse or what might go wrong next.
And so when I'm having a rough day and wishing pregnancy would end, I take time to thank God that the end is in sight and to pray for those who's suffering is way worse than mine.
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