What it feels like for a girl - reprise

The other day a friend of mine, assuming that as a mama I would be carrying the contents of a small chemist, asked me if I had any ibuprofen. He was somewhat shocked when I said I only carry paracetamol as its the only thing you can have during pregnancy. His response was "wow, I'm glad I'm not you - pregnancy sucks."

It dawned on me then how little clue most men (and a lot of women) have about what us women are put through during pregnancy so, guys, here's a few insights....

It starts with what is ironically called 'morning sickness' but should be called morning, noon and night sickness as it starts in the morning and gets worse through the day. Favourite foods taste funny or just plain make you sick and sometimes just the smell of something is all it takes to have you rushing for the bathroom. Imagine a three month long stomach bug that doesn't respond to medication and that is morning sickness.

The surge of hormones at various points during pregnancy gives you headaches but all you can take for it is paracetamol. Your immune system is suppressed so you end up with every illness going round and your body decides to over produce mucus so it feels like you have a permanent cold but you can't take any cold and flu pills - only paracetamol. As well as all this you feel so tired all the time all you want to do is sleep.

Once the first trimester is over things get better for a while and you start to feel human again. Nesting instinct kicks in and you feel a strong urge to move furniture, clear the house out and tidy every little thing.

But then the third trimester comes along and with it all the trappings of being the size of a house. Your hips hurt and you regularly get trapped nerves thanks to a small child sitting on them. Every time you stand up you feel the need to pee thanks to the little person sat on your bladder. You haven't seen your feet in weeks but now you can't reach them either so forget things like painting your toe nails or putting your own socks on.

Now when you sneeze you get head butted in the pubic bone by a little person. Trying to sleep at night is challenging as it's near impossible to get comfortable and once you do finally get to sleep you have to get up 4 or 5 times a night to pee. Trying to roll over or get up is like a full on military operation and you have to be careful not to get up too fast or you get all dizzy and light headed.

Sex also becomes incredibly challenging and not just because of the logistics relating to your ever growing size. From the guys point of view nothing much has changed and it still feels the same. But once you can feel the baby moving inside of you, sex feels like a very bizarre threesome as the baby responds to your partners touch and movements. Even when hubby gives me a back rub I find junior kicking in response.

Oh, and in the last couple of months you find that orgasms often set off painful contractions meaning that instead of having a happy ending sex results in you curled up in agony for 10 mins clutching your spasming belly. So guys, if your preggo mrs doesn't seem too keen on sex don't take it personally!

On top of all this you have many other fun symptoms like gas, indigestion, constipation, puffy ankles, bad skin, crazy things going on with your hair...

The saying goes "pregnancy is not an illness" and it's true but sometimes I wish it was so maybe I'd get a little sympathy! Instead you're just expected to get on with it and not complain and some people even have the cheek to make comments about how wonderful this beautiful natural state must be.

Having said all that, there is still much to be thankful for among all these challenges. Though it sucks to feel so ill for so long, at least I know it will come to an end and I even know roughly when. Plus there's a happy ending when the baby arrives.

How much worse must it be to have a long term illness and live every day not knowing if or when the symptoms will end or get worse or what might go wrong next.

And so when I'm having a rough day and wishing pregnancy would end, I take time to thank God that the end is in sight and to pray for those who's suffering is way worse than mine.

Mamas Diary - 31st July

Today is another typical Thursday - come home from work to find a sleeping child and the house littered with toys and clothes. Quickly say hello to hubby before he rushes out to work. We have the usual brief handover talk (what's the kid eaten/how many episodes of peppa pig has he watched/is there anything you promised him he could have or do when mummy gets home?). Attempt to pick up a little but my protruding baby bump gets in the way and I give up.

As little J naps I put my feet up and eat lunch while writing next weeks dinner menu and shopping list. This is one of the rare times in the week when it's just me with no one else around to distract me or demand things from me. Every week I think to myself I should take this time to relax, to read, to pray and to just "be" in God's presence and every week it turns into time to catch up on chores. Grrr, really need to change that habit but this darn nesting instinct that comes with the third trimester is difficult to shake off.

When little J wakes up it takes a grand total of 30 seconds before he starts asking to watch peppa pig. So we curl up on the sofa with a snack and a drink and watch a couple of episodes about birthdays and treasure hunts.

As usual I'm having bathroom breaks at a rate of 2 or three an hour and this time I emerge from the bathroom to find little J sporting my reading glasses. They actually fit him quite well! (I have to buy my glasses from the kids section.)

Little J has a thing for pouring stuff at the minute (mostly pouring mummys drink into daddys drink or pouring his drink into his dinner) so I came up with the idea of doing some water play with different size cups. My plan for some educational water play teaching him about things like volume and floating didn't quite go to plan. Little J decides instead to (over) water my plants, water my legs and then pour water all over the floor to make puddles to splash in.

We take a break for more snacks (I swear this kid has hollow legs), clean nappy and dry trousers but have a granola related spillage and little J insists we immediately hoover it up. Not sure where he got this cleaning addiction from but it certainly wasn't me. So we hoover up the granola - well, I say we, I try to help but little J keeps taking the hoover off me so I end up putting my feet up and watching him do it. I end up having to wrestle the hoover from him to put it away which results in some tears.

Little J heads to the kitchen to replace his split granola and emerges with a pear in one hand and a plum in the other. Though I don't want him to get into the habit of constantly snacking all day, who can say no to a child who asks for more fruit?

We head back out to the garden and this time bear comes too. Bear seems to be getting roped into quite a lot of activities recently and today is no exception. Before I can say anything little J  has bear splashing in muddy puddles. I make the mistake of saying 'bear needs a bath now' and little J proceeds to bath bear in the water table. I decide to give up and play along and offer to get bear a towel. I return with a tea towel and little J uses it to wrap bear up and cuddle him dry just like we do when when get little J out of the bath. Looks like this kid is gonna be a pretty great big brother to his sibling (just hope he doesn't put baby in any muddy puddles!).

After some more running around the house and some fun playing with little J's farm it's finally time for dinner. As usual, he's too impatient to wait for dinner to be warmed up and helps himself to an oat cracker while he waits. Dinner time involves the usual negotiations to get little mr "attention span of a fish" to stay at the table for the entire meal but he does eventually eat all his pasta and then starts trying to raid the cupboard for more food after!

Next comes family bathtime and daddy is home just in time. Little J excitedly heads for the bathroom and starts pointing at the bubble bath. Some nights we manage to all get in the bath together which gives me and hubby chance to chat and catch up before dinner. But when hubby sees little J toss a very muddy bear in to the bath he has second thoughts about joining us and instead opts for a quick bit of playstation time (the first in months).

So little J, muddy bear and I enjoy a fun half hour playing with bubbles, squirting water and occasionally even washing ourselves. Next comes the nightly ritual of chasing little J around the house to get his PJ's on. Thankfully daddy is on hand to help with this as little J runs a lot faster than my pregnant frame can waddle.

Next it's time for prayer and story time. Which story tonight? The bad tempered ladybird of course because no day would be complete without having to read it at least once. After kisses and cuddles we head to bed where daddy has already placed a nice dry "spare bear" (buying two identical ones was the best idea ever) ready for sleep.

As I head back to the lounge I can hear a happy little boy chatting and singing over the baby monitor. Hubby has dinner about ready (he's so good to me) and it's finally time to relax and take the weight off my aching hips and pelvis. After a long afternoon with my favourite little boy it's now time to enjoy time with my favourite man. Roll on a movie night and plenty of pie and squirty cream - mmmmm mmmmmm. Life is good.