For the first 3.5 years of my parenting adventure our nearest family were 4-5 hours away and so I've got used to just gritting my teeth and getting on with it. Though I love my kids and we have a lot of fun together, it often felt like I was treading water - you know what I mean mommas?
But recently everything changed. To cut a long story short, we moved to a great new house the other side of town.......and then my parents moved here too........to THE SAME STREET! Now I have help on call pretty much whenever I need. Thing is though, it feels kinda weird. I've got so used to being self sufficient that I'm not good at asking for, or accepting help.
For example, this afternoon as my eldest got home from preschool I was starting to get a headache. Headaches and energetic toddlers do not mix. Mum was already at mine, little J had already asked to go to grandmas and yet I was resistant to the idea of sending the kids round for the afternoon. As I thought about my friend who was home alone with 3 kids while sick earlier in the week, it somehow seemed unfair that I should be able to pass on my parenting responsibilities for a few hours. I thought I should be able to suck it up and keep going. I thought that I was somehow less of a parent for taking help.
But then I stopped myself. And then I remembered my Bible study from a few days ago. The prayer at the end of the study really nailed me:
"Lord, I confess my overconfidence. I don't feel like a sheep that needs a shepherd to do absolutely everything for it, but I am....you, my great shepherd, are my only security. I put myself in your hands. Amen"
(Taken from "my rock, my refuge" by Tim Keller - highly recommend it)
What a self reliant fool I am. How silly to not take help when it's available. How proud am I to think I should, or even can, do it all alone. Thank you, Father, for reminding me how weak I am and how much I need You.
What is even more foolish than not accepting help from friends and family, is not accepting help from our Heavenly Father. The creator of the universe is there to answer our call, to provide for our needs (Philippians 4:19), to carry our burdens (Matthew 11:28-29). All the riches of heaven are at my disposal through Jesus but still I try to do it myself. What a fool I am.
So my encouragement to you, and to myself, is to ask for help. Ask for help from friends - they'll appreciate being needed and it will no doubt bring you closer. God put them in your life to bless you and to grow you together.
And definitely ask for help from God because we are designed to live in dependence on Him. Every day ask him for all you need - grace, wisdom, patience, courage, faith, endurance, health, strength, the right words, forgiveness, restoration, finances, joy......whatever it is you need, He can richly supply.
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