Craving connections and a bit of a rant

So, there's a few things going round my mind at the minute. A friend of mine text me the other day saying he feels lost and lonely and like he's going round in circles looking for purpose and love but all he gets is pain and disappointment. I bet we can all relate to this to some degree.

 I think the one thing for me that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning is the prospect of having meaningful connections with people. When I get to chat about life, about meaning, about dreams, about stupid things, about opinions, about faith - that's what makes me feel really alive. And when I seem to lack those deep connections I feel deeply unhappy. But the irony in my life is that though I crave connections I tend to shy away from them too - I have a strange habit of keeping people at arms length and doing my own thing. Why do I do that?! Where does it come from?

And then there's the temptation to look for those connections in the wrong places and end up trying to depend on people who aren't able to live up to our expectations. And there's times when I get close to people (perhaps a friend, perhaps a potential partner) and get excited at the deep connection that's developing but then something goes wrong (they move away, we drift apart, they turn out to not be the right partner for me etc.) and I end up in pain and disappointed once again!

How can this cycle be broken? I know the answer lies with God and his unfailing love - that's what I need most. But how do I experience the fullness of His love and how do I learn to be satisfied in Him and only Him?

And one more thing - a friend of mine who's not a Christian has been struggling with this need for connection and is aware that he's going round in circles and needs to experience God's love but the more he tries, the more he feels likes he's hitting a brick wall. Why? Why has God revealed himself to people who aren't looking for him and not to people like my friend who are aware of their need for him? It doesn't seem right!! How can my friend break this cycle and meet with God? After all, experiencing God isn't something we can choose, it's something God does by his grace. I find it so hard to sit back and watch my friend hurting and struggling to find God and wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it happen but I can't and it breaks my heart!!! :(

The true Jubilee!!!

When I saw this story I was totally blown away and inspired - what a great way to make a point about poverty and inequality...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ETBMhEzYKU

Making the world a better place

So, we may not be able to change the world or our whole town but let's start with what we can do. How about we all make the effort to change the street where we live - to build community and make it a pleasant place to live.

Last night I sat and wrote a few ideas for how to do this:
1)Welcome new neighbours by going round and introducing yourself and taking cakes or something. Perhaps give them leaflets on useful information about the area.
2) Invite neighbours round for open house, a coffee morning, a meal
3) If someone is ill offer practical help with chores or childcare or take a meal round for them
4) Celebrate together and mourn together (births, death, marriages etc)
5) Organise a street party
6) Save energy by sharing machines and doing your washing together - and hang out and chat together while you wait for your washing to be done
7) Set up a co-op. Swap items of furniture, borrow tools, offer skills, share childcare... It could be in the form of a website or a weekly newsletter through everyone's door?
8) When you go to buy groceries, ask anyone who's stuck at home (eg elderly, single mum, ill) if they need anything from the store.

That was just a quick list I came up with. Please add your ideas to the list.

The Passion

Last night I stumbled across the mini-series on BBC1 called 'The Passion'. It's one of those stories I've heard so many times that I wasn't really expecting to see anything new but I was pleasantly surprised. There were two things in particular that stood out to me.

The first was the political situation and the tension between the Jews and the Romans. As I've read about it in the Bible before I never really got the full picture of what it must be like to live in that place and that time or what a crazy place Jerusalem was during Passover. It really helped bring the story to life, put things in context and help me understand the points of view of different key players in the story (Caiphas, the Romans, the disciples, the Jewish revolutionaries, the pilgrims...).

The other thing I loved was how Jesus was portrayed. He's a gentle revolutionary who's trying to teach his small band of followers how to live differently and see the world and the people around them through different eyes. And often they don't quite understand what he's doing or why because they're still thinking the way everyone else does. (For example, I love the bit where Jesus is about to enter Jerusalem on a donkey - effectively proclaiming himself as a new leader. One of his disciples turns round and says 'don't you think we should make a slightly more subtle entry, especially during passover - we're likely to get our heads kicked in!' He doesn't understand that Jesus has to enter Jerusalem in that manner and that he's fulfilling prophecy.) I wonder, how often do I misunderstand Jesus way of doing things?

Anyway, I would highly recommend you watch the rest of the series. Check it out on BBC 1 - Monday at 8:30pm, Good Friday at 9pm and Easter Sunday at 7:30pm.

Who've you robbed today?

The other day I read this really challenging quote from Basil the Great...

"When someone strips a man of his clothes, we call him a thief. And one who might clothe the naked and does not - should not he be given the same name? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat in your wardrobe belongs to the naked; the shoes you let rot belong to the barefoot; the money in your vaults belongs to the destitute."

And then I was reading Luke 3:10-14 and read John the Baptist expressing the same sentiments. He was preaching and baptising people and crowds came flooding to see what was going on and join in. I'm guessing a lot of people who came to be baptised by John were just doing it cos it was the latest thing and everyone was doing it. John pulled no punches in challenging the people's wrong motives. He challenged them about their heart attitude and about allowing themselves to be transformed by the gospel. So the people began asking what they should do, what should a transformed life look like? How did John respond? Did he tell them to go to church? Read the Bible every day? Pray 5 times a day? No. What was his first response?

"If you have 2 shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry."

None of John's responses had anything to do with religious rituals. Instead he talked to them about treating the poor right, about acting with justice and about being content with what they have. Today, when the Christian church encourages people to be transformed and follow Christ we often begin by telling them about religious things they should do and don't even mention the things John the Baptist taught. We appear to have got a mixed up view of what it really means to follow Jesus and have given others the wrong idea too and for that I'm very sorry. Thankfully, the church seems to be beginning to rediscover the heart of what Jesus taught and the importance of justice and loving our neighbour over performing religious acts.

Children of the revolution?

In church, a lot of people seem to have the view that doing God's work is the job of the guys up the front, the 'pros', the pastors, teachers, apostles and prophets. But check out this verse...

"Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work..."

It says that their job is to equip God's people (aka the church) to do his work - not to do it all themselves! Doing the work of God is the job of us everyday ordinary people in the pews and the 'pros' up the front are just there to help us.

So, when you go to church, what's your reason for being there? Do you go to be trained, equipped and inspired ready to go out and do the work of God and build his Kingdom the rest of the week? If not, maybe you should just have a lie-in on a Sunday morning instead - seriously, just don't bother coming. Ok, maybe I'm being a little harsh (or perhaps not?!).

God didn't design church to be just some comfortable social club. If that's all you want then go join the gym or take up golf. And God's not interested in us performing a bunch of empty religious rituals once a week. The way I read the Bible, it seems to me that God designed his church to be a bunch of rebels and revolutionaries who are willing to take risks to build his kingdom. I was reading some stuff last night about the early church and the radical way they lived. For example, if they couldn't feed the hungry people in their community, the church would fast until they had enough food for everyone to sit down and have a meal!!! And many of them were persecuted and even killed for pledging allegiance to Christ and to God's Kingdom instead of any earthly kingdoms. How did something that started out as a radical, dangerous community become so safe?!!

Selective blindness

As you sit comfortably in your nice warm home or office in front of your computer screen, take a moment to consider those who don't have a home or a job. These people are so often forgotten and invisible. Well, no, not invisible actually - it's more that we're blind, we refuse to see!!

So often as we read the Bible we interpret it through the eyes of our own experience; we see things how we want to see them and interpret them in the way that we feel most comfortable with. But when read properly the Bible should make us feel distinctly uncomfortable about our comfortable lifestyles. Let's not forget that Jesus was a homeless bloke!! So how is it that so many Christians (myself included), supposed followers of Jesus, are often so oblivious to the poor in their community.

Why not spend sometime allowing God to show you the poor, oppressed and forgotten people around you and allow you to see life through their eyes for a little while. Check out sites like http://www.slumsurvivor.com/ or http://www.geezmagazine.org/affluence/ and take some action!

Another poetry break...

Late have I loved you,

O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,

late have I loved you!

You were within me, but I was outside,

and it was there that I searched for you.

In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created.

You were with me, but I was not with you.

Created things kept me from you;

yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all.

You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.

You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.

You breathed your fragrance on me;

I drew in breath and now I pant for you.

I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.

You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

St. Augustine of Hippo

I'm giving up Christianity!!!

Before you all think I've gone nuts and started backsliding allow me to qualify that comment!!! I've just started reading the Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne and it's AWESOME. If you're comfortable with your form of Christianity then don't touch this book with a barge pole but if you're ready to be rocked to the core of who you are and challenged about what a real Christian looks like and whether you actually are one then read it.

At the start of one chapter entitled 'In search of a Christian' the author talks about a friend of his declaring "I gave up Christianity in order to follow Jesus". The author continues by pondering "I wondered what it would look like if we decided to really follow Jesus. In fact, I wasn't exactly sure what a fully devoted Christian looked like, or if the world had even seen one in the last few centuries...it looked like some time back we had stopped living Christianity and just started studying it."

Soren Kierkegaard wrote this on the subject...
"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any word in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world? Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church's prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."

After reading these things, here's what I wrote in my diary...
"I want to give up Christianity and follow Jesus. I want to stop studying Christianity and start living it. I want to stop just reading about God and trying to gain knowledge about him - I want to actually know him personally. I want to see the face of God (I think - probably be quite scary. Maybe I'll regret saying that's what I want!). I want to be an ordinary radical and to find other ordinary radicals to do crazy things with. I want to go in search of true Christianity and to find real Christians - and I want to learn to be one myself!!"

Divine frustration?

Been going through an interesting phase recently where I'm constantly feeling challenged about my attitudes and motives. I have so many thoughts going round my head I hardly know where to begin to make sense of it all.

I've been thinking about church, about what it is and about what it should be, wondering how much of what we do is following Jesus and how much is following man made tradition and ritual. I've been thinking about what it means to follow Jesus and whether I'm really doing such a good job of it.

As I read about Jesus I see a man who accepted everyone just as they were and didn't judge them, a man who took every opportunity to help the broken, the sick, the poor. I don't see many of these qualities in myself and it makes me feel intensely uncomfortable. I've spent a few months trying to ignore these feelings and drown out that still small voice that's trying to speak to my soul.

At first I tried to find a way to fix these things I see in me and to change these wrong attitudes and actions. But I can't fix it. The answers don't lie with me and deep down I know it. Deep down I know the only way to change and to get to where I so, so deeply hunger to be is to turn to God and surrender to Him and allow Him to change me. But I'm not good at surrender. I like to be in control. And so I've been running from God, trying to avoid having too much time alone to think about stuff cos I know that as soon as I do I'm gonna start thinking about these things again and feeling that ugly uncomfortable feeling that I've been trying to suppress. But I can't spend my whole life running and I can't make this feeling go away.

So, I decided it was time to do something about it over lent. I decided it was time to stop running from God and instead turn around and face Him and admit I'm a mess and allow him to take me apart and put me back together again. It's uncomfortable and every couple of days God gets a little too close and I pull back again, scared to go on. But God is infinately patient and oh so gentle with us all. And when I'm ready to come close again He's there waiting.

I'm still in the early stages of what feels like a bit of a wilderness phase and I know I have so much futher to go. I've barely begun to let God get close but I've finally reached that place where I've come to the end of myself and know that I desperately need Him. I've been feeling in limbo for a while - feeling like it's time to grow up and move on from youth work. But I have no idea what my next step should be. I have a feeling that I need to allow God to transform who I am before He's gonna show me what I need to be doing. Please pray for me!

We can be Heroes?!

So, who's been watching Heroes? I was determined to try to avoid getting hooked on yet another TV series so tried to avoid it but accidentally caught the end of an episode my housemate was watching and have been hooked ever since. It's an awesome show and has so many inspiring quotes and spiritual themes - I love it!

Perhaps I'm a little too into it cos now when I read the Bible I find myself relating it to Heroes episodes! For example, as I read through the gospels I see Jesus healing people with just one touch (like Linderman), reading people's thoughts (like Matt Parkman), commanding stuff and it just happening (like Eve). And then in the Old Testament you have the prophets seeing glimpses of the future that they don't fully understand - just like Isaac Mendez!

One of the big questions raised by Heroes is this - do humans really have hidden potential, is it possible for us to have powers like that? As I read about Jesus in the gospels it seems the answer is 'Yes'. But Jesus is special right - God in human form and all that - of course it makes sense for him to have these special abilities. But what about you and me? Well, just before heading back to heaven, Jesus tells his mates that the same Spirit that's in him will be in them and will give them the same abilities that he had. He also promises that ANYONE who believes in him will also be filled with that same Spirit and have the same abilities!!!! WE CAN BE HEROES!! The book of Acts describes Jesus mates getting these special abilities and in 1 Corinthians the apostle Paul talks about the kind of special abilities we might get and how we should use them.

One thing that stood out as I was watching Heroes was how they each dealt with their powers. Nathan Petrelli didn't really use his - he just tried to carry on life as normal and pretend he was like everyone else. He didn't want to be labelled a freak. But Hiro Nakamura instantly recognised the significance of his powers and the responsibility that came with them. He believed that he had these powers for a reason and that he had a responsibility to use them to benefit others whenever the opportunity arose. At first his powers were very unreliable and he didn't really understand how to use them but he was determined to put in the effort to hone them. And when an opportunity arose for him to use his powers he didn't think about his own personal safety. He saw it as destiny calling him and said that he had to answer that call no matter what.

So, I believe in Jesus, the same Spirit that is in him is in me, I have access to the same power. How do I react to this? Do I take time to explore these special abilities and hone them? Do I take every opportunity to use them to benefit others? When I see a bad situation do I see it as an opportunity to use God's power to change things? Or do I try to act 'normal' and fit in with everyone else and pretend like those abilities aren't real cos I don't want to rock the boat?

What about you? Are you more like Nathan Petrelli or Hiro Nakamura? Who do you want to live like? Is it time to make some changes?!

Lifestyle

It’s always the same. Everywhere you go are those kids who know the name of every pro, they know all the jargon and they read Kingdom magazine and Be-Mag religiously. They have the newest skates and the clothes to match. They strut around in their xxxl t-shirt, Fiction cargo joggers and Mindgame hoodie and they call themselves skaters! They talk the talk, but can they actually skate? They try to look the part, but you can see straight through them.

Rolling isn’t just an outward expression of a fashion proven only by an image. No, it’s more than that. It’s an inward identity expressed on the outside by your character. It’s proven by loyalty, commitment, determination, persistence, perseverance and it penetrates your attitudes, your loves, your hates, your entire lifestyle. It’s far more deep rooted than a hobby. You might not know how to pull all the latest tricks. It doesn’t matter. It’s not based on head knowledge or skill level. It’s based on heart passion. The kids who call themselves skaters based on appearance are an insult to the truth, but that’s the way it is!

You can spot someone truly devoted to God the same way. Some people know all the phrases, go to all the meetings, have all the latest books and can always appear to have life sussed. They say they love God, they’ll tell you: ‘Jesus loves you!’ It doesn’t go very far. A true lover of God can’t be proven by an image of holiness, only with a genuine deep founded character, not of perfection, but of truth. They can admit their faults and forgive others for theirs. A true passion for God will soon knock your focus off yourself and on to others. Don’t tell me how much God loves me, show me!

There are many sportsmen.
There are some Skaters.
And there are a few hardcore rollers.

There are many religious people.
There are quite a lot of Christians.
And there are some who love God.

Being at a skatepark doesn’t make you a skater. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian.

There will always be people who are an insult to those of us who are real. That’s the way it is. ‘False prophets’ have always existed: people who twist the truth with a matching image, but operate a selfish heart. The only interest they have is themselves.

These people will always exist. Let’s accept this fact, but not let it stand in our way of the truth. We can go round them.

I’m sure many times in your life you’ll have been fed a false image of who God is by people who seem all holy and ‘Christian’. Lets go round them, because behind the mask of religion is the true face of God. It’s in everyone’s interest to seek it. There is a truth far greater than any treasure, which has been buried beneath hypocrites, fakes, liars, religious people and the ignorant. Take some time to dig it up!

Hopefully this blog will help. I’m real sorry for those of you who’ve been turned off from seeking the truth, by these types of people. Make up your own mind, go round them! What do you believe?

A little poetry...

Wish I could say I wrote this but I didn't.

I don't know who did but I like it.

Who am I? What’s my meaning....?I don’t want to play sports,I’m a skater.

I don’t want to watch,I need to seek and find.

I don’t want religion,I need relationship.

I don’t need to entertain people’s minds,I want to set fires in their hearts.

I don’t need to be narrow minded,I want to open doorways.

I believe in dreams,

I believe in people,

I believe in God,

I believe in sharing...

What’s your meaning? Who are you?

Stupid car :(

Grr. So my car had it's MOT at the start of January and cost me just over £100 by the time I'd had a collection of little things done to make it pass. Then about 10 days later I went to drive it and the electrics worked but the engine was dead as a dodo. Thankfully I have a very nice mechanic friend who came and towed it away to take a look. The earth cable had sheared off and was shorting out the electrics to the engine so that was fixed pretty easily. But then Jon couldn't get the lights to work?! Turned out one of the relays had mysteriously gone missing. How do you lose one of those? It's not like it can just fall out - it's in a case! Anyway, on monday night Jon drove Mary Jane (my car) back to mine and gave me my keys back. Crisis over - hooray! Then I got in to drive her again the next day and she was dead as a dodo once more - argh!! That meant a half hour walk up to the youth cafe to get to work. A walk which I would have to do twice more that day. I guess it gave me plenty of thinking time though so that was nice. Last night I got an update on Mary Jane's condition. It's officially an alternator problem and she's going to need a transplant. So there goes another £100. Why are cars so expensive?!! Oh well. God knows that I really need my car for work so he'll sort out the cash I'm sure. It's all good :)

Wisdom part 2

Check out these bits from Proverbs…

“I call to you, to all of you! I raise my voice to all people.
Listen to me! For I have important things to tell you. Everything I say is right,”
“Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square…
Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.”
“I called you so often, but you wouldn’t come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention.”

Wisdom is trying to speak all the time – Jesus, with the help of the Holy Spirit is trying to talk to us. Are we listening? Have you ever seen Bruce Almighty? There’s a bit at the start where he prays for God to show him a sign and then God uses all kinds of stuff to try to speak to him…road signs, TV ads, songs on the radio and even his pager. Bruce is oblivious to it all and refuses to answer his pager!! How often does God try to speak to me and I don’t notice? How much am I missing? Here’s a challenge for you – this next week, make a conscious effort to listen to God. Expect for Him to speak to you any time, any place, through anything!!

Wisdom part 1

Imagine if you took a guy from the Amazon who’d lived there all his life and put him in the middle of London without explaining how stuff works in England. He’d probably find the world a very scary, overwhelming and confusing place to be. He’d have no clue about money, buying stuff, finding somewhere to live, crossing the road even!!! Living in a world created by God without understanding God’s rules and ways of doing things can also be scary, confusing and overwhelming. The Bible says there are 2 types of wisdom – human wisdom and God’s wisdom. In order to thrive in God’s world we need to follow God’s wisdom, not our own!


Where do we get God’s wisdom? Check out a book in the Bible called Proverbs. (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%201%20;&version=65; or if you’re too lazy to read it you can listen to the audio version here http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/audio ) The first 7 chapters talk about how important wisdom is, all the benefits of having wisdom etc. Then in Chapter 8 it talks about wisdom like a person…

“I, Wisdom…”, “I love all who love me. Those who search for me will surely find me.” At first glance it looks like the author is just being poetic but then you get to this bit…

“The Lord formed me from the beginning, before he created anything else. I was appointed in ages past, at the very first, before the earth began.”

Compare that with these bits from Genesis 1 and John 1…

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”

“In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone.”

The Word is a nickname for Jesus. Proverbs isn’t just talking about knowledge, it’s talking about Jesus and about the Holy Spirit. It isn’t just saying ‘get real brainy’; it’s saying ‘get to know Jesus’!!! Jesus is the source of godly wisdom. If you want to know God’s way of doing things then get to know Jesus.

The Boss

Here's a little something someone wrote on the prayer room wall...
Date: Today
From: The Boss
Subject: Yourself
Reference: Life

I am your God. Today I will be handling all your problems. Please remember that I DO NOT need your help. If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations WILL be resolved, but in my time not yours. Once the matter is placed in the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life right now.

eyes wide shut

Well, we're back from conference and had a great time. My talk seemed to go well and I got to lead worship one night too. Truth and treating went really well. We got to chat to a few people and one group even got to pray for healing with one guy on his doorstep.

We are currently at the start of a month of prayer in our church. We've kicked the month off with a week of 24/7 prayer and it's going great. The youth have really got into it and are putting the rest of us to shame with their passion!!! I spent a night in the prayer room with a few others over the weekend and though I found it easy to stay awake, found it really hard to actually pray. I really wanted for God to speak to me and had lots I wanted to pray about but just couldn't for some reason. I spent another couple of hours in there last night and that time didn't try to pray or listen, I just focused on being with God. I had an awesome couple of hours!!! I'm starting to see now that God wants me to be still and just be in his presence right now. It's time to just rest in Him and stop trying so hard!

Another thing I've been realising recently is that we're not called to make converts, we are called to make disciples. What does that mean? We're not called to get people to 'pray the prayer'. Though it's important to preach Christ crucified and to challenge people to make a commitment to Him, my focus should be on helping them to become a follower of Jesus. I need to teach people how to pray, how to worship, morality, what God's Kingdom looks like... Discipleship is so important. Recently I've got a little frustrated that I don't get to spend time with many young people right now. But it's quality not quantity that counts! I'd much rather get to spend a lot of time really pouring into a few people - seeing them transformed and then transforming others - than to have shallow connections with loads of people. Jesus had a small group that he spent loads of time with and he taught them to go out and change the world. I want to do the same!

Welcome back!!

Hello one and all. Sorry it's been a while since I've updated this. I've been offline all summer cos I only have internet access at work. But now we're back, the new team has started and we've almost finished our first half term!!!

The new team is made up of me, Jeff, Lydia and Courtney from last year plus...
Claire, Joe and Steve from Yeovil
Jess from Yorkshire
John from Birmingham
Grace and Alia from Bethlehem
Cosmina from Romania
Riina from Estonia
and Israel from Brazil

They are all great and settling in really well. Hopefully I'll have some pictures to show you really soon!!
It's been a busy first term of meeting with the schools, starting to do assemblies, planning for the cafe, learning street dance and running youth groups. Half term is almost here and a lot of us are gonna be involved in taking our 15-18s youth group to Wales for a week, while others of us help with a football camp in Yeovil.

The week after that we all go away for a SWYM training conference where I've been asked to do 2 hours of lectures on mentoring. Please pray for us over these next couple of weeks cos we're gonna need it!!!!

Some people shouldn't be allowed on the road!!

After almost a year of incident free driving I had my first near death experience on my way to visit my folks in Kent. I was merrily driving along the A303 enjoying the sunshine. I'd reached one of those annoying single lane sections but, though the road was busy, the traffic was still moving at a constant 60mph. To my right was a junction with some cars waiting. It seems that the driver at the front of the queue was a bit sick of waiting and so decided to try to create his own gap by pulling right out in front of me while I was doing 60!!!! I had to do an emergency stop (and embarrassingly stalled in the process!) and thought I'd just missed him. As I slammed on the breaks I quietly prayed "please God don't let me hit them, I really don't wanna lose my no claims bonus!!" Thank God the person behind me was paying attention cos they were very close to going into the back of me. I can't believe what an idiot this driver was!! But I feel very awestruck and humbled by the way God protected me.

Unfortunately, it seems I did actually hit the other car (not that he stopped to check!!!). When my Dad got home from work he said "why is there a big puddle under your car?" Looks like I've got a small crack in the radiator :0( So please pray that I'll get back to Yeovil ok and that it won't cost too much to fix!!!